I consider myself a pretty open-minded girl. I'm into trying new things and being spontaneous. I'll do almost anything once. And I will always be willing to spend those few extra bucks if it means living my life to its fullest. Having said that, I have one question:

Who the hell is the stupid, insensitive moron who came up with thisgoddamn crap?!!

No doubt it was a man. I mean, only a man could possibly assume, even for a second, that somewhere out there, there are these free-spirited babes just waiting to hoist up their skirts in public places every time they need to make a phone call.

According to A Little Lingerie Company, the Cell Phone Garter is "Sexy and practical". No, that was not a typo: Practical. "The elasticized band on slides on comfortably for a smooth, seductive fit". Strap it on and "you'll feel ready for anything".

Ok, that's it. I think I'm gonna puke. Im stopping now.